In one week my son is discharging after 1 year 8 months from the Heritage Schools in Provo, Utah. Prior to Heritage he had a short stint at another RTC, where he was asked to leave because “they did not feel they could keep him safe”. Before that he was in Wilderness for 3 months and prior to wilderness in and out of the Psychiatric Unit of a few hospitals for 6 months. All totaled, roughly 2 ½ years of treatment and he is now 17, benefited from treatment and matured significantly, his pre-existing symptoms I would say are 75% gone or no longer a factor. Since he has not lived at home for the past 2.5 years it is difficult to say, but I suspect if he were home now he would not warrant residential treatment. When does residential treatment become counter productive and when do you leave?
I am giving you this background information because like most situations with my troubled teen the journey is not easy or the cookie cutter case. This time it is final when he leaves the RTC, there is no going back. We, his parents have requested his discharge, the RTC is not recommending discharge (mainly I think due to liability) and our community mental health representative is apprehensive but understands. My son has not done stellar at RTC, some teens do, others go along with the program and others do not. Believe me I am not saying he has not benefited from the program because he has, we are grateful and he will also admit that he benefited. But he is not one of those that has blazed through the levels to the top of the class and he is leaving as a level one (there are over 4 levels). But he will be 17½ in less than two months, if he stayed at the RTC he could actually complete his High School Diploma by October ’09, if he passes all his classes. Most recently he has receive A, B, C’s on his report card, which is a vast improvement over his past academic performance. It would be ideal if he left with a diploma, but he (my troubled teen) feels that he has served his time, no longer is benefiting from the services and wants his life back. Is that so bad? Actually what would he gained from the program if he is not engaged? He is also genuinely excited about coming home. Everyone has a different experience and I have always said he marches to a different drummer.
Due to some of his recent behaviors he will not leave *graduating* from the program, but we made a promise that we would bring him home after the end of this school term, which is next week. I feel it is more important for us to keep that promise, our relationship I hope is forever, the RTC ends when they walk out the door. Why isn’t he graduating from the program? If you have read my blog you may know that he has run away or gone AWOL a few times. The first time in January ’09 and again in April ’09; in April he was on a home visit and the day before he was to go back to Heritage RTC he ran. We knew before the visit it was a gamble, but I guess we were willing to take that risk and were also really wanting him home. Sadly he did run and for the details on the run read my past blog posts. Are we allowing him to manipulate us? I guess we will find out.
Once he was located (400 miles from our home) we made a promise, if he returned to Heritage Schools finished the school term he would discharge in June. Now it is June, we are his parents and have been on this journey quite awhile with him and don’t want to do anything that would jeopardize his treatment or well being. Since we are pulling him from the program we may lose our funding for continued services when he returns home. Also, once they are 18, they no longer qualify for services, so they are turned over to you whether they are ready or not.
We know this is a risk, but after 2.5 years of some type of adolescent treatment, what is he going to get from another 8 months that he has not already received ? After awhile I would think there are diminishing returns, especially if the teen is no longer engaged or committed to the program and the main reason for being at an RTC is therapy not the education. Granted, I am not saying he no longer needs therapy but I would hope that with these last few months living with his family, where we still have some authority before he turns the magic age of 18 are just as important to his mental health and well being if not more.
My next blog post will be on how we are preparing to bring him home.
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It’s clear that you have thought this through thoroughly and gone above and beyond to help your son. 2.5 years is a long time! I can certainly understand your son’s desire to be ‘in the real world’ and your desire to have him home too. I hope this next part of the journey brings you all some joy and relief! Thanks so much for sharing your experiences – it’s a real service to all of us.
Interestingly he has told us he will not run from home, that he was running from the RTC and he does not have a problem with us. Amazing how the past fades with time, because he did have problems with us before he left, but I guess now we don’t look so bad.
I hope & pray for the best – for you, your son and your family. I know the decision process is a painful one. Sounds like it is a gamble – with his history of running. I hope your son is more mature to make good, thoughtful decisions for himself & his future. And that you have resources to continue with outside help. All the best….
I am sure there are lots of emotions surrounding his return. Yes, your relationship is forever and that is a great way to look at it. I am hoping the transition will go well and he will continue to grow and mature under your guidance.