What To Expect When Your Teen Returns Home From Residential Treatment

It is summer, things have been quiet on the blogosphere there does not seem to be as much to report these past weeks. I do know when you have a troubled teen life is never quiet and there is no such thing as a break. In fact when life should be relaxing and calm is when it tends to become chaotic to out of control. I am on a few forums for parents that have teens in residential treatment programs that my son attended. If your teen is in a facility and they do not have a parent forum I highly recommend starting one. You connect with the other teen parents at the facility and it supports everyone’s recovery. Recently one of the parents sent a message expressing that his son was aging out and would be returning home in less than a month. Of course they are nervous and wanted to know if anyone had any insight for them. Amazingly bringing your teen home can be as stressful as sending them away. My son has been home for one month and this is what I shared:
(note: can replace son with daughter)

1. You will never be able to prepare for what it will be like when 
your son returns home, no matter what you do. You can plan, but you have 
not lived with your son for a number of months they have changed 
and so have you. I have heard this from many families and now I understand what they mean.
2. I LOVE having my son home, I have no regrets so far. He has grown in so many positive ways since he 
left for Residential Treatment there is nothing (in the last four weeks) that we have 
not been able to handle. With that said we have also had our tough 
times.
3. Make a home contract or the home treatment plan. They are great to instill structure and rules 
and you can always refer back to it. You can tailor it for your specific family needs. We have used it for consequences and 
structure. It is a great foundation and communication tool. During the process 
everyone thought it was “silly” but it has been a savior in many 
situations.
4. For chemical dependency issues we required that he attend at least 
two NA meetings a week. He started out going a lot and has tapered 
off. He has met some people that he socializes with a little. I am 
hoping he will find a sponsor.
5. If friends are an issue, this can be difficult. We are not thrilled 
with some of my sons friends, but we are picking our battles and let 
him know what we think. He also has to bring them home to meet us. Socially I think he is figuring out where he belongs.
6. Our son is 17 so we do have some power over him before he turns 18. At first he 
was not used to the responsibility of knowing what time it is, since they do everything for you at the RTC and he was not good at checking in. Also he did not know how to negotiate. We would tell him something and even if he did not like it would just do it anyway. Now he is starting to negotiate times and other privileges and with modern technology, he is getting better at calling or sending us a text message when he is changing 
locations. We have not had a curfew problem yet.
7. We did have a major relapse. Which I don’t want to go into the 
details, “I think” he learned from it. He accepted the consequences, 
seems remorseful and we are moving on. He is now paying for all the 
expenses it has incurred.
8. I am attending Ala Non meetings. I have made a personal commitment 
to attend at least one meeting a week through the end of the year. They have been very 
helpful and I have thought about getting a sponsor.
9. Downtime is not good and this is what scares me the most. He is 
going to summer school and he has a job!! So far he has been able to 
keep the job and it keeps him busy about 15 hours a week. I don’t 
know what I would do if he did not have the job. He does not like me 
telling him what to do with his time. There will always be down time, you cannot keep them busy all the of the time. I also think the job has been great for his self esteem (which is an issue).
10. Personal and family therapy. We are doing both and he hates it. In 
fact today we had family therapy and he was upset that he had to be 
there. Told the therapist he did not need it and did not want to come. But we are not 
backing down. He thinks that he/we can do all this on our own with out any help.
11. He has one year of high school to complete. He is not going back to public school, we found a private school that can accommodate the wacky set of credits that he needs to graduate. We also did not want him exposed to the social anxieties that may be involved in a public school setting. At first he did not like the school, because it was not a “normal” school. But now he loves it and has made some friends. It is small, 150 kids, about the same as the RTC. From what I understand everyone is basically friendly to each other and he says there is no room for “hate” or cliques. Everyone gets along no matter what type of person. This is one less anxiety to deal with.
12. Overall he appears to be happy and cheerful. )

Tagged as: Ala Non, chemical dependency, family therapy, Friends, home treatment plan, Recovery, residential treatment