Nebraska’s safe haven law allows parents to abandon their children without fear of prosecution and there has been much press about the children that have been abandoned. When the law was put into effect they were thinking it would help parents that could not provide for newborns or infants. They did not expect the number of children older than one year and up to 17 years old that would be dropped off at hospitals and police stations by parents that claim they can no longer care for them.
It appears to be easy for parents to abandon their kids in this country, and there are very few consequences for those that do. What is reality and in some ways not alarming is the number of parents with “teens” that are being abandoned daily by parents that can no longer handle them for one reason or another. The teen years are some of the most difficult child rearing time and a family with few resources and support struggles. The safety net for these “throw away kids” is seriously lacking. Where do they go? There are storys of parents handing them bus money and not looking back. These teens are victims of our society, their families and have very few resources if they know how to find them. Many end up in a life of drugs, prostitution or juvenile detention, there are few services that are not punitive offered to teens that are abandoned.
When my son first spun out of control I was scared and as a parent ill equipped. There came a time when I knew that I could no longer parent him at the age of 15. I told his father, this is up to you now, he is stronger than me, I did not have the control over the bad choices he was making and the disruption to our household. Lucky for us we had the resources to get help. If this support had not been there for us I do not think my son would be alive today. A parent helpless when trying to handle someone that is constantly running away, not thinking logically and considered the villain.
After much research we located an educational consultant in our area that knew of programs for teens that would be safe, yet could deal with the hostile behaviors. Quickly we place him in a Wilderness Program with a good therapist. He needed to get away from our community and we needed a break to have time to think clearly. I feel we were one of the lucky families; but what about families that do not have the resources and support, where do they go for help? Sadly there is not much out there for these parents with teens that are being thrown into the streets, with no direction and later become criminals. Their families have given up on them and they are not all bad kids, they just need a chance.
Just like Nebraska other communities are experiencing teens being rejected by their mothers and fathers As in Nebraska, kids abandoned daily in S.F. Why isn’t there more help out there for teens? Instead of waiting for them to become the legal age of 18 and find them in the prison system. They need to get help when they are young and still impressionable, when it can make a difference. There are few people, professionals, that truly understand and will work with out of control teens.
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