No one ever said this was going to be easy or quick or have any guarantees, but we are in for the long haul and entering a new phase of adolescent rehabilitation and residential treatment with our teen son. It was June 2007 that he went to Wilderness, unsure of what it meant or what they could do but we knew we had to do something, then in August 2007 he came out of the Oregon forest and went to a residential treatment center in the beautiful state of Utah. This October 2008 he discharged from Heritage Schools, flew home, spent three nights with us before going to a step down residential treatment program one hour from our home.
“… In the Spring of 2007 if I had been told that I would be spending quality time with my son in 1½ years I would not have believed it. I just spent the most awesome weekend with the son that I remembered and love, therefore I am forever grateful.”
Phase three another unknown in this ongoing process; we began the end of last summer researching the different options that were available to us. This is what we considered:
- returning home and attending special classes at the public high school,
- private schools in our area and living at home
- step down residential treatment or group homes.
Residential Treatment Centers are given a rating with a level of care they provide. How they figure out the rating is very complicated. Heritage is the highest level of care which is a level 14, he is now in a level 12 which hopefully will transition him back home or into society. There is somewhat of a big difference between the two levels.
Our son was questioning the different options that were open to him, due to his experiences he definitely had an opinion about his comfort level and what he wanted to do. He did not like Wilderness and could not believe we placed him at an RTC after Wilderness, this has not been his favorite experience. My husband was set on him coming home, thinking that is what he would want, but surprisingly my son chose a step down. I think it really is the best and I am glad that he was able to make that decision on his own instead of us dictating what is next. At this point his success is up to him, he is writing the story. He did not want to go to a public or private school and have to explain where he had been the past year or his situation.
In my perfect world he would have finished the semester at Heritage Schools and then move to a step down program but Residential Treatment is so different from being in the regular school system. Since they are in school year around, kids come and go at all time and they make accommodations for them. I wanted everything to align perfectly, finish the semester in December and then move to the next phase. But life isn’t like that and one day we got the phone call that the new facility had an opening earlier than they expected and were we interested. He had to be there in a week, YIKES! Instead of losing the space and not knowing when a new vacancy would be available we took it. So much for preparation.
The success is truly within him, there is not much we can do at this point except stand by him. We wanted him closer to home, so that we could be more involved in his life and he could start integrating back into our community. This is whatever you want to call it, a test, new phase, but if he cannot control himself with this level of care, then he will go right back to where we started until he can prove himeself or turns 18. My gut tells me this was the right decision. He has matured, he is clean and sober, and needs to know that we are not living in the past, we trust him and recognize that he has done a lot of work to get to this point.
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My thoughts are with your family and son as you navigate through this new phase.
I haven’t visited in a while because I wanted to sort of wait and see how things were going — and truthfully my week was a little rollercoaster-esque. But I just read your post and then re-read it and this stuck in my head:
…surprisingly my son chose a step down. I think it really is the best and I am glad that he was able to make that decision on his own instead of us dictating what is next. At this point his success is up to him, he is writing the story. …
By recognizing the stepdown program would be beneficial I agree that he is showing a tremendous self-awareness that will certainly stand him in good stead. And you’re right, the story is his to write now. I also agree that if this doesn’t work, you go back to step 1 and start over til it does or til you don’t have legal control anymore. A child is too precious to give up on. God bless you!