I am looking at the timeline since my son has been in residential treatment. Even though we have made great progress I cannot believe it has been a YEAR. I say we, because having a teen in residential treatment impacts the whole family, which feels like the universe. When I say a year in residential treatment I am not talking about prior to, in and out of the psychiatric hospital and then spending two months in wilderness. On August 2, 2007 he transitioned from Wilderness to Residential Treatment. It all makes me want to put my face in my hands and cry. How long will he be in residential treatment?
Today I was cleaning the house and I don’t know why, but little things of his kept popping out at me, some leather bracelets he had bought, a collage book he had made and t-shirts that needed to be folded and put away. His bedroom sits waiting for him. Where is my 16 year old son, that I long to be living in my home? How long can you institutionalize a person? These are questions that roar through my head. Then I catch myself, take a deep breath and I am reminded of how bad things had gotten before he left. At least now I have got my life back and I sleep at night knowing he is not using or on the run.
I have not seen him since April, three months ago, the last (and only) time he was home since he went into residential treatment. He has not made level to be rewarded a home visit, I thought for sure he would be home at least once this summer. This week his father is flying to Provo, Utah to see him. I felt it was important that one of us go out, just to make a connection. We did not tell him that he was coming to visit. In a phone conversation he told us he wanted to have a home visit and not a Utah visit, it was too depressing. Well, if he can’t make level then one of us needs to see him. The reason we did not tell him his father was coming out, We were afraid he might act out, to manipulate the visit and end up with no privileges at all.
My hope, he will reconnect with his father and the visit will give him incentive. In the upcoming weeks he will try hard, make his level so that he will have a home visit very soon. But I have learned that with treatment the best medicine is “no expectations”.
My next hope (I have to stop this) he is home for Christmas and home for good by Spring ’09.
no expectations …. no expectations … no expectations
keeping my fingers crossed
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I can see we are not alone. I also think my son sabotaged his visits this summer, which is almost incomprehensible to me. We are starting to think about transition also and doubt that we will use an ed. consutant. No expectations is the way to go. I appreciate your support and comments on the blog.
how well I know the story. Our son has been at an rtc since sept 07. He’s had one home loa, he sabotaged all other visits. We are now looking at the possibility of a step down unit but don’t know where to begin. We did not use an ed consultant to find the current rtc and don’t really have the $$ to aquire one. No expectations for sure…