The saddest part of my situation is that I think no one in my family knows the extent to which my daughter gives me trouble. She just returned home after being out since Tuesday (today is Thursday). For about a week before Tuesday she continued to go out every day and only when I would wake up in the wee hours of the morning to find she still wasn't home, would she come home because I was forced to go pick her up from her friend's house at 3-4-5 in the morning. Mind you I wake up at 7a to go to work. She refuses to tell me where she is, who she's with, what she's doing. She only has one friend because she alienated herself from everyone when she met this one girl that has totally taken control of her life. However, the girl does listen to and respect her parents and follows her own curfew. But if they're out, they'll leave only with enough time to make it to the girl's house because they don't care to factor in the extra 10-15 minutes it takes to get my daughter home too. I sent the girl a text on Monday night after I picked up my daughter from her house at 4a and told her not to pick her up the rest of the week. Totally disregarded me and not only did my daughter leave with her, she didn't return until today when I sent the girl another text giving her a deadline to return my daughter home.
My daughter has totally disassociated herself with all of us. I have 4 other kids, 3 of them still living at home. The others are my 20yr old son, and 14 & 10 yr old daughters. The last two are from my current marriage. I've been with my husband for 15 years. He practically raised my soon to be 18yr old since she was 2. But about 3yrs ago they had a big argument and she hasn't wanted to deal with him ever since. They both said things they shouldn't have said and she was really hurt because she's a very sensitive person. But at the same time, she'll do things out of spite and pretends to act like there's nothing wrong with the things she does.
I waited for her to be home today and I disconnected her phone and threw her laptop in my trunk (although she doesn't know where it is). I took her out to eat tonight just me and her but when she realized her phone wasn't working, she decided she wouldn't touch her food and just sat there sulking.
We came home and she tried getting my husband's luggage from when he goes out of town for work. I guess she wanted to pack. I took it from her and put it back. Few minutes later she goes and finds a duffle bag of mine and wants to take it with her to her room. I took that from her too. She claims that as soon as she turns 18 she's leaving and we won't see her again.
At this point I don't even know if there's anything I can do. I feel like I've run out of time to save her from herself. Her birthday is on Monday. Last week she sent me email after email with all the things she wanted me to buy her: $200 purses, $100 shoes, etc, etc, etc. I would love nothing more than to spoil her and buy her everything she wants, but (1) I can't afford these things and most importantly (2) she doesn't deserve them.
There's no talking to this girl. She's the most hard headed child I've ever encountered. There's no reasoning with her. She'll never see things for what they really are. I'm so devastated and so distraught. I haven't slept in weeks. I'm afraid of going to sleep and waking up and not finding her here. I'm afraid of going to work and coming home and not finding her here. The slight consolation I have is that she only has that ONE girl that she would turn to and I've already talked to her mom once before and she kind of sort of told her daughter she had to respect my wish if I told her not to pick her up, but I'm not crazy about her parenting when her daughter can come home at 3a every single day.
Sorry for the long rant, but I don't even talk to my husband about my issues with her because of the animosity between them. He was raised totally different and doesn't understand how I can still even deal with her after all the suffering she puts me through. But she's my daughter... and she reminds me very much of myself at her age. Only now do I realize that I did some crazy things and I'm lucky to be alive. I was probably worse than she is. But the disrespect she gives me is what's worse to me.
If anyone out there has gone through anything remotely similar or can offer some advice or calming words, please share.