http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/forum/substance-abuse supporting families with troubled teen issues en-US Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:38:04 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/search.php http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/pot-on-the-horizonnow-what-do-i-do#post-189 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 19:39:24 +0000 SoCalMom 189@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>Institute regular random drug testing. It's affordable, accurate and can be done in the privacy of your own home. Keeping your child away from drugs may be the most important thing you ever do for them. They WILL thank you later.</p> <p>As parents, it’s our job to protect our kids until they acquire the common sense of adulthood. Tom Riley of the Office of National Drug Control Policy put it this way, “Young people tend to be very altruistic and they think they are immortal. Telling teens something is dangerous tends not to affect their behavior.” </p> <p>If you’re worried about your son going ballistic, first and foremost you and your husband need to be on the same page. Going ballistic will not work. If anything, your son will seize upon it as a diversionary tactic and manipulate the situation further. Remember, he who yells loudest, loses! Be a united front for your son. </p> <p>Approach drug testing with honesty. Tell him you love him and that he is so important to you that you’ll do anything to keep him from going down a road that compromises his future, his health and his safety. </p> <p>Drug testing is standard operating procedure nowadays in business, for the purpose of safeguarding that company or organization. As parents, it’s our job to safeguard our children.</p> <p>You can find a lot of good info online for helps on knowing how to set up drug testing your teen. There’s a video on the CoreBB site that could be very helpful to you. There’s also one on meth. You don’t want that to be your kid. </p> <p>You want your son armed with his best defense against drugs. Kids who know they can count on their parents to pop random drug tests have a better chance than their friends who don’t. Give him another reason to just say no. Whatever your son has admitted to, you can be sure it’s only the tip of the iceberg. That’s just a fact of life. Trust your parental instinct and act on it. It just might be the thing that will save your child from a lifetime of addiction, or worse.</p> <p>"Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who step on their toes." ~ Chinese Proverb </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/pot-on-the-horizonnow-what-do-i-do#post-185 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 05:56:47 +0000 AlmostPerfect 185@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>So, I have suspected for several months that my 15 y/o son has been up to something. His grades have sharply dropped, he doesn't do his normal chores, at least, not without a major dispute first, and he just seems completely aloof to the world. I tried to chalk it up to Freshman year, the age, etc.<br /> Last night I finally got him to open up to me. Somehow I managed to keep a straight and relatively blank face, as he told me that he lost his virginity at 12 (YES 12!!!), and has had a few sexual experiences since then.<br /> His next revelation, though more disturbing and less shocking to me, was that he has, in fact, been smoking weed. He says it's just 'sometimes, and on weekends only'. As if that makes it all okay.<br /> I have no idea where to go from here. On one hand, he finally trusted me enough to tell me the truth. On the other hand, I can't just let it go, of course.<br /> If I tell his step-dad (the only male in his life), he will come unglued. My husband and I have very different ideas about child-rearing. He will undoubtedly do or say whatever is the worst possible reaction to the news. It's just his way.<br /> I am at a loss though. I was a horrible teen. World's Worst. I did all the bad things you hope to never go through. My parents definitely did NOT do the right things to help me. I admit, I don't know what the right things would have been, But it didn't happen. I cleaned up my act by myself when I was 17 and got pregnant (with my now 15 y/o trouble maker).<br /> I have lived in fear and dread of the day I found out my son, who used to be so very very perfect, was acting like I used to. And now I am in a blind panic. I don't know if I should punish him, ground him, allow natural consequences to follow, lecture him...etc. I thought about just permanently grounding him from going out on weekends, since he says that's when he smokes. I know when I was a teen, I was always grounded. It just taught me to sneak out and do worse things. I though about not allowing him to join Track and Field this spring, but I think he really needs the many good things that an organizes sport offers. The rigorous schedule, the coach to take him in, the camaraderie, the activity to keep him busy.... however, that will cost us $400.00 to put him in, and I know my hubby isn't going to feel that the kiddo has earned that kind of entitlement.<br /> He of course receives allowance for doing his chores every two weeks. Should I take that away? He says he's not buying pot, just smoking w his friends.<br /> And he will be volunteering this summer at a kids day camp like he did last year. They of course have a zero tolerance policy. If he doesn't do that though, he will sit home with freedom all summer long. Not to mention the possibility of a learners permit in May. Well, that's def not going to happen at this point.<br /> Seriously, all this still boils down to: WHAT DO I DO TO GET MY KID NOT TO SMOKE POT OR PUSH THE ENVELOPE FURTHER???<br /> (Btw, he's done all the drug-free/anti-drug school programs, abstinence programs, etc. We have not been lax on trying to prepare him and talk about these things before he entered the teen years. It just apparently made no difference!)<br /> Any help will help!<br /> Thanks for reading,</p> <p>AlmostPerfect's AlmostPerfect Mom... HA! </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/electronic-or-e-cigarettes-and-teen-usage#post-167 Thu, 24 Nov 2011 07:54:51 +0000 admin 167@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>@alaub thanks for your insight. I don't know anything about them and with teenagers you never know. It is my 17 year old son that has them. I haven't said anything to him about them. I know he smokes to my dismay but couldn't figure out the eCigarettes. Maybe he is smoking in his room. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/electronic-or-e-cigarettes-and-teen-usage#post-165 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 20:21:14 +0000 alaub 165@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>My 17 year old daughter was a pretty heavy smoker as much as I hate to admit it. A few months ago she switched. I am not happy but abusing her body anyway is unacceptable to me. She doesn't smell like cigarette smoke anymore which was a huge embarassment to our family. Her health has improved as well, she was getting a cough (at 17!) and sick often. I have heard they really are to help quit smoking and it isn't a good thing if they start smoking them without never smoking before. I know my daughter says she uses some with nicotine and others that are just flavored vapors. I haven't heard of people using them for illegal drugs because you have to use their cartrideges. Not sure that it is impossible to alter but they aren't reusable. Hope this helps! </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/electronic-or-e-cigarettes-and-teen-usage#post-164 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 16:22:54 +0000 admin 164@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>I just found e Cigarettes in my sons bedroom. I had never heard of them before and do not know anything about them. I did look it up on the internet and supposedly they can be used to help quit smoking. What do you know about eCigarettes? I am also wondering if there may be some drug abuse with them. </p> <p>Any information would be helpful. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/cant-find-any-solutions-for-my-son#post-98 Tue, 20 Sep 2011 05:31:38 +0000 brokenns 98@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>Hi! I live in NS Canada and for the past year almost, I have been fighting a never ending battle. My son is progressively getting worse. He is a young 17 and in grade 11(for now) which thus far has been a struggle. He lives with his father and has been spoiled rotten and given too much freedom. Well, that freedom is destroying his life. Now that his father is trying to place rules upon him(which is far too late at 17) he is not liking it. He has gone from one couch to another all summer and never came home at all. He has no motivation to work and has zero work ethic. To my understanding he is smoking cigarettes, pot and what he calls popz(hash oil in a cigarette?). He will not take No for an answer from anyone so feels being out on his own would be better. The only problem is his father did not provide him with the tools to survive. He never had a chore, was handed $20 bills on regular basis and more. He is very unhealthy. He cannot finish a meal without feeling and sometimes getting sick. I tried to get help for him but he will not go willingly and no one in my area will help. At times over the years he believed he would like to live with me, but in the end always realized Mom had rules so would stay with his Dad. His Dad never spent a lot of time with him, just showered him with money and gifts. Anyway, he will not return home and wants to live at a friends( someone who also has a shady past). What am I going to do to help my child. I am broken and every door I try to knock, they cannot help me. I am desperate for answers. Please any advice would be appreciated. </p>