http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/forum/residential-treatment supporting families with troubled teen issues en-US Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:25:40 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/search.php http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/inexpensive-programs-for-troubled-teens#post-188 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:46:53 +0000 SoCalMom 188@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>I feel for you. Been there...done that, as they say. A few years back I was in a similar situation. I was terrified my son would completely self-destruct if I didn't get him into a program where he'd be safe and get the help he needed. </p> <p>I had to get creative. I told myself that if I'd been told he needed a liver transplant to save his life, I would have moved heaven and earth to make that happen. So I decided to approach it with the same determination. I got a second job. I rented out his room. He wasn't going to need it for awhile. (though I wouldn't recommend this idea if there are young children in the home.) I sold and liquidated everything I could. It was just stuff. I reduced my overhead and expenses every way possible. </p> <p>Here are some other ideas I recall that other parents did: asked friends, relatives and co-workers to commit to a certain dollar amount each month to offset tuition; some went to their pastors for help- churches and congregations can be a resource; some employers were willing to do matching funds; used college fund savings; moved into less expensive housing; a few got their school district to pay tuition.</p> <p>The other thing was I looked at the tuition, and subtracted what I was already shelling out every week to therapy visits, money stolen from my purse, doctor visits, various other things I ended up being financially responsible for. Do the math and figure out what this is already costing you and compare that against tuition fees.</p> <p>The kind of help you want for your daughter is not cheap. No doubt about it. That tuition covers 24/7 care and safety, schooling, counseling, probably therapy, healthy activities, and a chance to get her life back on track. But it's also a chance to get your whole family back on track. Your home sounds like a war zone right now. It doesn't have to be that way. </p> <p>You might check out CoreBB for scholarship options or help finding programs in your region that might fit your criteria. Also regular random drug testing is something you could do now. There’s a good video on the site about how to drug test your teen. </p> <p>With your daughter being 17, that's a factor too. Time is not on your side. So don't delay. And don’t give up. Good luck to you. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/teen-rehab-in-california#post-187 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 12:13:13 +0000 CoreBB 187@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>Hi Stephanie,</p> <p>I hope this finds you well. I am new here, I realize your post is a month old…though I also realize that if you are like many parents this issue is likely still ongoing, so better late than never to respond.</p> <p>Like PastResident (member) I to got myself sent away to a School when I was a teen. Fortunately for me we had a much different experience, it sounds as though PastResident had a rough time. I am not sure where he/she went, but there certainly are Schools and Programs out there that should not be in business. </p> <p>Since graduating my Program (with a positive experience) I have since gone on to work in this field. For the first couple of years after I graduated my Program I stayed heavily involved as a volunteer. Working with parents, traveling around attending family support groups, etc. During my time as a law student I was presented with an opportunity to actually work and make a living in the family healing field and I took it.</p> <p>So full disclosure my family and I DO earn our living working with families and teens. Which I am thankful for as well are the many many families I have had the opportunity to be in service to for the last 15 years. Had this just been an ongoing volunteer project I would not have been able to provide nearly the amount of results that I have as well as the others that I network with or that work for me personally. This is just how our society is structured.</p> <p>I have worked with many families from California. They normally contact us after they have tried facilities in State. When they have tried a private facility they typically end up losing a lot of money, time and are emotionally drained. Where they have involved the State they have typically lost many rights, they are frustrated beyond description and in some cases have lost their child for a lengthy period of time (months if not years). A lot of parents naturally and understandably look for resources closer to home. That’s what I would do as a parent of 2 boys as well, if I were facing some of the same challenges and not having any past experience or insight into this field. Though in California’s system the odds are stacked against you. PastResident has accurately pointed out that California is a more pro-active “child rights” State. As great as that may sound, when you are dealing with a teen that you have lost control or influence over (hence the term out of control teen) a program in California is no longer a viable option. I am all for teens being treated with dignity, respect and compassion. I DO NOT work with any Programs or Schools that I personally could not envision myself being a student at. Again, I have been on that side of a Program. So I personally know what my standards and expectations of treatment need to be.</p> <p>Being a native of Southern California I know the State well. Keeping this in mind I would never trust the State of California getting involved or dictating anything regarding my family. So going through the court system, or enrolling your kid into a Foster Care or Group Home, I would steer clear of to put it lightly. And as far as Program or Private School staff making a living working in a Program so therefore having some hidden agenda, don’t over look the fact that the clerk in the court or the CPS workers having to keep beds full to keep one of their Programs open are any different. The only contrast is that unlike a private company that is results driven a State Program is not. State entities are not based on results, outcomes or anything of the sort they just keep getting checks from the government no matter what the results of their students success or families happiness is with their Program. And furthermore kids in States Program are likely to have much deeper seeded issues and will likely be a much more toxic influence on your child. I know this because I have operated JCHO accredited facilities with State kids, a nightmare, more than anything dealing with the State and its reps.</p> <p>I hope I have helped to shed some light on this issue. </p> <p>If I can be of any more help, feel free to contact me.</p> <p><a href="mailto:info@CoreBB.com">info@CoreBB.com</a> </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/inexpensive-programs-for-troubled-teens#post-186 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 10:39:28 +0000 gamom 186@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>I have a 17 year old daughter who is out of control. She is skipping school, not doing homework, smoking, drinking, hanging out with kids who may have gang associations, possibly using drugs and having sex. She's abusive to my two younger girls and to myself. She is shoplifting, and running away from home for three and four days at a time. The police tell me that they can't do anything when she runs aways because of her age and the fact that she always comes back. But she comes back to make life miserable for the rest of us. She is constantly destructing items in my home, and she has even gone so far as to hit her sisters and myself.</p> <p>I would love to send her to a boarding school for a treatment program, but I am finding that the programs are too expensive. $800 a month is the cheapest I could find! Because of the economy I was forced to take a huge pay cut when I got laid off and found a different job, and I don't have the money to send her to get the help she needs. </p> <p>Does anyone know of a program where tuition is free, inexpensive, or possibly covered with a scholarship? </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/teen-rehab-in-california#post-178 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 17:08:10 +0000 PastResident 178@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>California defends the rights of minors much more aggressively than many other states. Because of these laws, it will be very hard to put your child in a facility without going through the court system and giving your daughter a fair hearing. Which is a very good thing.</p> <p>Here is a list of children's rights in California when being placed in foster care:<br /> <a href="http://www.hunter.cuny.edu/socwork/nrcfcpp/downloads/rights-children-foster-care.pdf" rel="nofollow">http://www.hunter.cuny.edu/socwork/nrcfcpp/downloads/rights-children-foster-care.pdf</a></p> <p>Many of these rights are denied in out-of-state facilities in the name of "treatment". I personally believe that these laws exist for a very good reason, and as you choose to live in this state, you should respect the rights the state affords your child and not circumvent them.</p> <p>In closing: if you child truly needs help, in California you will need to go through the court system. This will help her understand that she actually needs help, and give her a chance to stand up for herself while someone actually listens to her. Her records will be closed when she turns 18, so you won't have to worry the court appearance affecting her standing in the future. If she really needs help, this shouldn't be an issue for you. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/teen-rehab-in-california#post-177 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 09:16:50 +0000 admin 177@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>Hi Stephanie,<br /> All facilities are different and you may want to talk to an educational consultant to find the best placement for your daughters issues. My experience the best facilities are not in California for teens.</p> <p>Good luck I know it is not an easy road. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/a-former-resident#post-176 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 08:29:11 +0000 PastResident 176@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>I'm 24, and I still have nightmares about being locked up and a fear of constantly being watched as well as major trust issues from being lied to by staff that have affected many of my personal relationships since then.</p> <p>Remember to talk to the average kids there, they are the people your child will be around. It's very important to understand who your child's peers will be, I ended up living with a bunch of coke-heads with serious addictions (I only smoked pot occasionally), I learned a lot about drugs, and that influenced who I identified with when I left at 18.</p> <p>If you only talk to the hand-picked group the facility puts together for you, you are getting a seriously skewed view of what happens and what life is like. Almost any child you talk to will be scared to say anything questionable about the facility: speaking freely can easily make life more difficult for them.</p> <p>Don't ever lie to your child about anything when you send them away. The whole point is open communication, and anything you do to compromise that can seriously affect any trust they have with anyone in the future. DON'T EVER PROMISE TO BRING YOUR CHILD HOME AND FAIL TO FOLLOW THROUGH! NOTHING IS MORE PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGING AND DISHEARTENING!</p> <p>Being in a lockdown facility can really, truly hurt for a long time. If you think you have no other choice, make sure you do some serious research, there is nothing worse than finding out that your parents don't know everything about where they have sent you.</p> <p>Even the best of these facilities have had fatalities, and have faced multiple lawsuits. Keep in mind the vast majority of them are profit-driven (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspen_Education_Group">Aspen Education Group</a> comes to mind, they are owned by Bain Capitol, and investment banking company, and own many, many programs) and as such are out there to get your attention, sell themselves, and make moeny just like any other business.</p> <p>I DO NOT BENEFIT IN ANY WAY BY THE CHOICE YOU MAKE, UNLIKE THESE COMPANIES I DO NOT GET A PAYCHECK BY WRITING THIS. I wrote this because of what I have experienced and what I believe because of it. However, the people who will encourage you to send them away make a living and a paycheck by doing so, and will warn you that there are people like me who are against these programs and should be ignored. Again, I don't benefit from typing this. I'm just trying to stop other people from having to suffer the way I did. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/teen-rehab-in-california#post-175 Sun, 18 Dec 2011 14:32:59 +0000 stephaniej 175@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>My 15 yr old daughter needs residential rehab - is struggling to remain sober from drugs and alcohol. She is attending a sober school and going to NA meetings but just fell off her 30 day clean with drinking. Our insurance is Blue Cross Healthy Families which doesn't seem to cover anything. Has anyone had success finding inhouse treatment somewhere in California? </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/girls-only-res-treatment-centers#post-174 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 13:19:58 +0000 ironcowgirl 174@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>My daughter is at a place called Montcalm School for Girls. It's in Albion, MI. She has been there for 3 months now and is doing so very good. I'm amazed at how well she is doing. The whole staff there are the most awesome caring people and I would recommend this place to anyone. It's expensive but worth every penny if it helps my daughter. Check out their website at montcalmschools.org </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/girls-only-res-treatment-centers#post-173 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 10:12:20 +0000 admin 173@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>You might want to look at New Haven in Utah. Here is a link to one of my posts. <a href="http://www.troubledteenblog.com/2008/06/new-haven-girls-residential-treatment-center-utah-best-of-state/" rel="nofollow">http://www.troubledteenblog.com/2008/06/new-haven-girls-residential-treatment-center-utah-best-of-state/</a></p> <p>I don't have personal experience but have spoken to some of the admin people and they seem to be very caring. </p> <p>Good luck </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/girls-only-res-treatment-centers#post-171 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 05:48:46 +0000 Sue 171@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>Hi, am searching for a high quality therapy-oriented RTC for a 13 year old girl, anxiety, depression, sexually acting out and looks mature for age. Good student who functions well outside family until, but she ran away once and may do it again. Locked unit is preferable.<br /> I'm considering Sunrise, Kolob Canyon and Moonridge. Any opinions on these RTCs or any others I should know about? </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/sending-your-teen-back-to-treatment-after-they-have-been-discharged#post-72 Mon, 20 Jun 2011 20:18:31 +0000 admin 72@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>I received a note today from a parent asking what I thought of sending a teen back into residential treatment after they had been discharged. </p> <p>Most important I don't give advice since I am not really qualified to do that but I can tell you my experience.</p> <p>We did send our son back to residential treatment after he had been discharged. We brought him back to our home state to attend a step down program and hopefully ready him to return home. He AWOL'ed from that program and we immediately sent him back to the program in Utah once he was found. I know that other kids have also had to return after discharge.<br /> If this is something you are contemplating it might help to talk with his past therapist at the program you want to send him back to. Let them know what you are experiencing. Since they knew your son while he was in the program they may be able to help you make a decision. </p> <p>I know how difficult these decisions can be. If they are acting out or displaying risky behaviors it may be in their best interest to return to some program. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/experienced-parent-seeking-interviews-with-similar-parents#post-66 Sat, 23 Apr 2011 12:53:37 +0000 DrDore 66@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>I am an Independent Educational Consultant/ Therapeutic Consultant and 10 years ago my own daughter was in residential treatment. Over the years I have studied and explored the experiences of parents who have / or had children in Residential Treatment Centers (RTCs). Family involvement has been widely accepted as a factor that benefits children in RTCs and family centered practice encourages parent participation in all aspects of a child's care, yet there is limited research on parents participation in two key areas at RTCs: the day-to-day care of their child and the treatment planning/implementation for their child. </p> <p>I have completed several surveys which are being worked on for publishing. In one survey fifty-four parents of children in RTCs completed a mixed method survey which asked respondents to identify how they are or are not involved in the day-to-day activities and treatment planning/implementation of their children and their level of satisfaction with aspects of their involvement, including amount of involvement, decision making opportunities and interactions with daily care and clinical staff. </p> <p>Respondents also shared barriers and supports to their involvement, the impact their involvement in RTCs has had on their child and their families as well as advice they would give families and RTCs about involving families. The findings indicate that parents have a range of involvement at RTCs and that they are more satisfied with higher levels of involvement, increased opportunities for decision making and when they have collaborative, supportive relationships with staff. </p> <p>Recommendations for enhancing family involvement practices at RTCs as well as suggestions for future research are still being discussed in another survey. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/experienced-parent-seeking-interviews-with-similar-parents#post-43 Tue, 22 Feb 2011 19:50:56 +0000 luisamoore 43@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>Hello Robert, Aside from opening the channels of communication with your teen, exercise the right to determine which kinds of media can enter your household. Find out if your teen has violent movies, games, or music in his/her possession</p> <p>As a parent, you will probably have times when you lose your temper as well. Examine yourself and be honest about asking how you express your own anger and frustration. Children who lash out and become violent at other children are oftentimes victims of violence themselves. It would be best to make sure that the violence didn't originate from home. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/experienced-parent-seeking-interviews-with-similar-parents#post-42 Tue, 22 Feb 2011 05:53:44 +0000 luisamoore 42@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>Talk to your son, make a habit to talk to your son after school. ask something what happened in school or how was he doing. talking is an effective form of discipline. Don't scream at your son because all he'll do is tune you out while you're screaming at him. Instead, talk to your child calmly and listen to what he has to say. Another option is you sent him to a <a href="http://www.teen-boarding-school.com/teen-boarding-schools/therapies-at-therapeutic-boarding-schools.html">therapeutic boarding schools</a>. Therapeutic boarding schools offer an environment for teens that are struggling and need to work on improving their behaviors. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/gateway-academy#post-41 Wed, 09 Feb 2011 09:13:48 +0000 coombskb 41@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>That is terrible of Gateway, they should offer you some sort of reimbursement for your troubles. If you have or do end up sending him somewhere else you should maybe ask them what happens if this incident is repeated again. I'm hoping this was just an isolated incident and a mistake by a bad group of employees, but who knows. <a>Troubled teens</a> need understanding instructors who really care about them and their progress. If you don't get people who really care it is a waste of time, money and effort on everybody's part. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/gateway-academy#post-40 Wed, 09 Feb 2011 02:00:25 +0000 superjake 40@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>I'm sorry to hear that. Personally I prefer Turning Winds for therapeutic camps for <a href="http://www.troubledteens.com/">troubled teens</a>. Turning Winds Academic Institute is one of the nation’s top private therapeutic boarding schools. With an outstanding success rate, Turning Winds Academic Institute is an excellent choice for your troubled teen. Academically, our students rank well above the national averages. You might want to consider it also. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/experienced-parent-seeking-interviews-with-similar-parents#post-39 Thu, 03 Feb 2011 17:08:57 +0000 admin 39@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>Interesting you should ask about this I just read an interesting article today about teenagers and peers. Your son seems to be at the ripe age for this. It may shed some light on the issue for you <a href="http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/03/teenagers-friends-and-bad-decisions/?src=tp" rel="nofollow">http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/03/teenagers-friends-and-bad-decisions/?src=tp</a> . It may not change his behavior but help you to understand what may be going on. </p> <p>How is he socially? Does he have friends? It also could be attention seeking. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/experienced-parent-seeking-interviews-with-similar-parents#post-38 Thu, 03 Feb 2011 16:12:43 +0000 rmontoya 38@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>hi my name is robert and i am a father of a 13 yr old boy that just cant stop getting in to trouble in school but is good when he is at home don t know what to do this has been happening since he was in first grade does this sound like something that you went through </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/when-parents-dont-agree#post-33 Tue, 18 Jan 2011 12:48:39 +0000 coombskb 33@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>For the child to have the most success and the best opportunity to change I think is by putting them in a program that gets them away from their daily routine, and sometimes that means away from parents. You need to let the staff do their job and try and help your kids. if they have visiting days that is great but listen to the staff, and find a program that your comfortable with. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/gateway-academy#post-32 Tue, 18 Jan 2011 00:42:35 +0000 jbarefield74 32@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>That 's not a good academy. They should have realized that the purpose for their existence is to help troubled teenagers. They are there to help people regarding behavioral conditions and yet they did that to you. You are right. They should at least refund some of your expenses since they said that they would accept your child. They should also sympathize. If you can go back there, talk to them again. If they still won't and you can't control it anymore, I guess you have to move on. Forget about them and concentrate on your child's feelings. Send him to another school. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/experienced-parent-seeking-interviews-with-similar-parents#post-27 Mon, 08 Nov 2010 06:54:44 +0000 rolheiser 27@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>We are just beginning this process. We are, just this week, applying for our 15 year old daughter's admission to Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch in Billings, Mt. I have no idea what to do, where to turn, or who to ask for advice. Any advice or tips anyone who has been through this has to offer will be appreciated! </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/experienced-parent-seeking-interviews-with-similar-parents#post-18 Tue, 31 Aug 2010 18:31:10 +0000 sfree3 18@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>Dear friends,<br /> I am a now a frequent-flyer in the world of residential therapeutic treatment, having two children in this world. I am also an executive coach. I am feeling a very strong pull towards working with adults of children in residential therapeutic programs who want to overcome their struggles and isolation so they can live their lives with renewed joy, purpose and connection.<br /> I am looking to interview a few parents to listen and learn about their vantage points and challenges. It is simply an opportunity for me to listen and glean if there is value to help others in similar circumstances.<br /> If you are interested, please reply to me at <a href="mailto:susan@headsupperformance.com">susan@headsupperformance.com</a>, the company where my practice is currently living.<br /> I welcome the chance to learn from your wisdom. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/when-parents-dont-agree#post-17 Sat, 19 Jun 2010 18:03:01 +0000 savech123 17@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>My husband and I have struggled with being on and off the same page for years. I practice Al-anon and tough love and he lets his heart guide his head. It's such a difficult situation. I wish I could let my actions follow my heart but I would spend every moment giving my son what he wants instead of what he needs because it's easier and feels nicer to me. I feel terrible most days for having to do what will NOT enable my son and what will make his life more uncomforable so he will hit his bottom and begin the journey back to us. Loving an addict is the hardest thing in the world and when it's your child it is beyond painful. You second guess what the right thing to do is all the time. Especially in our case where our child is already 18 yrs. old and our control is limited. I cannot stress enough that parents get their own support and get it together. I personally love al-anon. Take time out as a couple to spend with each other and DON'T talk about problems.<br /> Fathers do seem to be co-dependent and less willing to take a stand and follow thru. I think every major decision made for our son was made by me because I put my foot down. We have been to counseling together to learn to parent more effectively. This did help alot and we still draw on those skills. To learn more about our family story and what we have learned over the last 7 years please visit my website Save-My-Child.com Pulling from the experience of other parents who have been through tough times and are making it can help. We have been married 21 years and have figured out how to keep US alive.</p> <p>Lisa </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/when-parents-dont-agree#post-16 Fri, 11 Jun 2010 19:31:33 +0000 admin 16@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>Interestingly this is where my husband and I are today. My son had his high school graduation today, I am very proud of him, but it does not come without new obstacles. He still continues to abuse substances and I will not tolerate them in my house. My feeling is if you cannot follow our house rules you cannot live here. My husband is besides himself and thinks I am kicking him out. </p> <p>I am not kicking him out, I am giving him the opportunity to live the life he wants to live without me telling him what to do. Obviously my husband and i are not on the same page and my son knows it. We are now working at coming to an agreement, I am hoping in the next couple of weeks to come up with an at home contract that both my husband and I can present as a unified couple. But the contract means nothing unless we stick to it. </p> <p>I thought when my kids graduated from high school I would be done! I feel like this is the real parenting challenge. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/when-parents-dont-agree#post-12 Thu, 18 Mar 2010 21:34:29 +0000 camille111 12@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>I've been a staff of a residential treatment facility one thing we are doing is that we educate parents to know and feel that their child is safe with us. Giving them a tour around our facility to know what will it be dealing with us. Explaining everything that they needed to know to be confident of we are capable of giving them the right treatment suitable for them.</p> <p>Camille Jude<br /> <a href='http://www.residentialtreatment411.com/residential-treatment-centers/california-residential-treatment.html'>Residential Treatment California</a> </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/when-parents-dont-agree#post-11 Thu, 25 Feb 2010 13:43:51 +0000 rtcmom1 11@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>In regards to one parent not agreeing, my feeling is that parents MUST be on the same page, even divorced parents. This I know from experience as my x and I do not agree and it makes it worse for our children. One in RTC, one I wish was in RTC. I am the disciplinarian, he is the one that allows them to do basically what they want. What parent do you think they want to be with. My son's RTC has been doing what they do best, and quite frankly, that is why you have your child there, because the family unit has somehow failed. That is really hard to accept, and know that I am NOT placing blame. No matter what we tried, it still didn't work. Now, 9 months later, using a very wise stand off approach, my son went from failing all his classes to remaining on the honor roll for months, getting all a's and one a-. He is working on HIS issues, and doing quite well. He is responsible for it all, success and failure. If there is any disagreement regarding visit dates, etc., I strongly suggest this is NOT talked about in front of your child, but worked out amongst the adults and his therapist/go to person in RTC. The last thing our children need is to split the parents and take their focus off of their program, no matter where they are. I suggest reading any material that your RTC has available to you. I have a go to person that is wonderful and all the support of the parents too. There is a book, parenting teens with love and logic.<br /> Our children must go through necessary steps in order to have priviledges and the quicker they learn that, the better off they will be, and learn the down side of not doing what they should. I love my son dearly and am so proud of the progress he has made there, but by their rules. THEY say if and when he is eligible for a home visit, and he must work to obtain the proper level for that visit. They have breaks and we mush abide by their schedule, so as to not throw off their school schedule. If your child is there via AB3632, then they had to get some type of approval, as I believe it is about $100,000 a year to send your child there. I am sure that they wouldn't agree to pay that to an institute that didnt have a good success rate. My son is in a downward spiral right now, something he must go through to get better....</p> <p>In your case, I would speak about any disagreements with his therapist, not in front of your child. If your child senses the splitting of you and your husband, it could be a way for him to manipulate things, as my child is master at that, they both are.<br /> I wish you well!!<br /> rtcmom1 </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/when-parents-dont-agree#post-10 Mon, 22 Feb 2010 10:27:29 +0000 jerry548 10@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>You and your husband have to agree on the placement and back each other up, other wise you are wasting your money. If your child was placed through AB3632 funds and your child get kicks out due to your husbands interfence you may be legally liable for the monies that the state and school district have spent. You probably need to speak to an attorney, laws are different in every state. Have you tried going to counseling with your husband? It sounds like you and your husband have issues. If you can't resolve this issue your child will not get better. We continue to see the therapist that our child was going to at home to make sure that when she gets home everyone is on the same book. </p> http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/topic/when-parents-dont-agree#post-9 Sun, 21 Feb 2010 06:47:04 +0000 AnneSeekingSerenity 9@http://www.troubledteenblog.com/forum/ <p>I'm in the throes of a rather severe disagreement with my husband over our son's experience in a residential program.<br /> My husband wants to make more decisions, like when to visit and how to plan our son's summer, over the objections of the program staff. I want my son to stay there and I want to follow their recommendations, since they have years of experience and good results, and in my opinion they are incredibly wonderful people.<br /> I'm worried that my son will actually be kicked out of this program if the staff feel (as they do) that my husband is interfering too much and sabotaging their methods !!!<br /> What have other parents done in this situation ??? </p>