Recently we moved our son to a step down residential treatment program near our home. Before deciding where he would go I toured a few level 12 facilities, one that is very popular for many teens is Family Life Center. From what I have heard many of the teens from Island View in Utah transfer here.
Family Life Center is located in a rural section of Petaluma, CA in Sonoma County. The grounds are meticulously maintained and I was very impressed. The school separates the boys and girls and there is very little interaction between the two sexes. I have heard the education is a bit soft but this is true of most residential treatment programs where the education is secondary compared to the all so important treatment.
I have heard great things from families that have attended, but it did not feel like a true step down program, even though it is not a lockdown facility and a level 12. The program appeared to be as structured and they had high expectations on how the boys should look and behave. Individuality did not appear to be one of the characteristics they were developing, it felt like everyone needed to fit a specific mold. Some of the programs philosophy reminded me of the Wilderness experience.
After the teens reach a certain level there is a program where they can move into a satellite house with six kids living with house parents. At this stage they do a lot of off campus activities such as going to the farmers market, out for pizza, shopping at a thrift store, even an occasional movie.
It was not my choice for my son, I think it would have been too confining and not as accepting of his creative individuality. I was looking for more of a “real” step down program that would test my sons ability to begin to integrate back into the community. It did not appear to be enough of a change from the facility that he was currently attending. For some families it may be the right place for their teen and I understand they have an excellent therapeutic model.
As you look at the pictures below, notice how clean and neat everything is, also I think they have a gourmet chef that cooks with all natural ingredients. I was very impressed with the house cleaning (I wished mine looked as good) there literally was nothing out of place from the kitchen counters to the boys PE clothes that were folded perfectly on their beds. I did not tour the girls area.
One thing I do recognize from my experience every facility is very different. Even though they may work with the same level systems and do the same type of therapy they each have their own character. If possible try to visit the facility before making a placement.
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It sucked!!
I went to FLC as well, but I have a different opinion of it than some of the other people who responded to this post. I hope to make a fair portrayal of FLC’s intentions and program in general. I am absolutely willing to be contacted via e-mail or phone to discuss anything further.
I wanted to begin by saying that I saw above that the original poster did not go into depth about what her son’s issues or capabilities were, and therefore do not want to give any definitive advice, such as “absolutely do not send your child there!”
It is true that quite a few programs are not administered well or have different focuses that may not be appropriate matches for your child; however, I feel that FLC’s values, skills, and the experiences they provide students with is excellent and can benefit the majority of people who attend the place if they are OPEN to change. Of course, the program has its faults, as does most everything . . . and I will explain my views on those in portions below.
FLC provides an extreme amount of structure, which for someone with huge anxiety issues can be very stabilizing/reassuring. It also can be a stepping-stone for some who are out of control and have no clear understanding of how crucial in life it is to be able to take instruction and criticism.
Yes, it’s true that students are required to do the vast majority of maintenance . . . and of course it can be frustrating, but I think the purpose behind it is to teach pride, a good work ethic, consistency.
The rules at FLC are in huge quanity. Perhaps some are not necessary(?), but I feel that the reasons behind the rules are for the protection of all students. Some rules are more applicable to students with specific issues and probably appear ridiculous to others. There are some rules that contradict, but the most important rules established do not.
There were rules regarding advancement in the program which I did not agree with completely. FLC is a relationship-based program and there was a requirement to have student support to move up a phase. It’s is a lot more complex than that, and at times created a lot of controversy amongst students. Despite that, the main concern for students is to focus on self-improvement.
FLC’s curriculum did not seem to challenge most students, but at a treatment program education is not a top priority (hence the title “treatment.”) I too, loved the teachers and their wonderful personalities.
I feel that yes, personality/individuality/etc at FLC was oppressed to an extent, but it is my strong belief that you cannot determine who you truly are as an individual if you are stuck in negative patterns. It’s like the situation: you cannot save money if you are in debt. FLC helps get people on the right track. I participated in many creative endeavors at FLC and learned to help myself in many areas including therapy.
FLC therapy is intense, but support is given from all directions. Though there is pressure to participate, and students are often required to in order to move forward, you have options of how to approach your issues. Almost all students are reluctant or scared about doing group therapy, but once an openness to change and acceptance of reality sinks in, it is really worthwhile.
Family therapy at FLC is very effective, but only if family members are supportive and genuinely have interest in making a difference.
Personally, the program was incredibly overwhelming for me at times. I almost left when I turned eighteen, and I am grateful I did not. I had no ambition and was headed down a dangerous path prior to FLC. I graduated the program and high school in a year and a month (not too common, but doable.) I learned and matured a lot and am currently living successfully, doing things I never would have planned on achieving.
FLC is definitely not a place for everyone, but what it really comes down to is the receptivity and tolerance of a particular person. Perhaps your child will hate the place and resent you for sending them there, but that does not by any means suggest that FLC has nothing to offer.
Thank you for reading and I hope that this information and my opinions were of some help.
I agree with everything that author J and Lindsey have said. I just wanted the lady who posted this thing to contact me.. after all, this is her son’s life we are talking about. Please STAY far far AWAY FROM THIS PLACE at all costs and don’t make the same mistake my mother did in sending me there!
-Ashley Nadar
AKA: Athena Myers
I went to FLC and I can tell you it’s not what it seems.
- The “meticulously maintained” campus is kept that way because they make the students do all the work. There is a landscaper, but most of what he does is tell the students what to do. There are NO housekeepers, we had to clean every single day on the residence (both indoor and outdoor) and two or three times a week in the satellite homes. For satellite, deep indoor cleaning is on Saturday, outdoor maintenance on Sunday in addition to outdoor Mon-Fri.
- There is zero interaction between the boys and girls. I remember an incident where the other satellite house went to Target and accidentally bumped into a student from the other campus. One student mentioned this person later and got in trouble for it. They didn’t teach us how to interact with the opposite sex appropriately. Sex ed is limited to small groups of whoever is getting ready to graduate, and half the students don’t get to be in that class. Half the students also ended up pregnant shortly after leaving the program.
- I loved the teachers, but I left FLC without being prepared for college at all. Apparently they were not allowed to give us more challenging curriculum.
- Individuality and being opinionated is looked down upon and even chastised.
- Used to have a 5 star chef, now they employs someone who just enjoys cooking. Different chefs for each campus. “Line staff” fills in when the chef is not available. To be honest, the quality of food did not change, just the quantity of what we had to eat.
- I was placed at FLC for depression and a suicide attempt. I didn’t go there until 5 months after my suicide attempt, so it was pointless. FLC is not a good place for someone with these issues. If anything, it gave me more of a reason to be depressed, and I’m STILL recovering from that 4 years later. They didn’t teach me anything I couldn’t have taught myself over time and becoming more mature.
- Looks are deceiving. This place is not a cake walk. It’s very difficult to be there. As previously stated, the suppress individuality. They also use brainwash tactics. Their rules and views can be very contradicting, and at times it seemed they would just build us up to bring us down. They played favorites as well.
- They refuse to help students when they become homeless post-graduation.
Thank you for acknowledging that this program is not appropriate for your son. Keep in mind that just because some programs aren’t on lockdown, does not mean that they are a good program. Real success stories are few and far between.
I was at Family Life Center from 2003-2006. And no, individuality does not seem to be the number-one priority of the program. I actually felt the need to /recover/ from time spent there. I felt sheltered and smothered. I don’t think it’s exactly a “step-down” sort of program..
I went here as well. And would also be more than happy to answer any questions you may have. I graduated in 2004, but have kept in contact with of few of the girls and my house parents.
Hey, I went there and if you need to talk to someone with some personal experience feel free to email me… =)
Fill out the form on the About page or send me an email at kidsrtc@gmail.com.
would love to talk to you about this place!
I think it’s marvelous that you have such a clear picture of what you want for your son and what he needs and that you aren’t willing to settle for what might be a great program but not the right one for him. Personally, I would be leery of a teenager’s home (whether with parents, institution, etc) that is too clean. It isn’t natural and it speaks of too much rigidity and control. Let’s face it, teenagers are messy. They don’t have to be slobs or filthy but they are messy. It’s a part of what those years are all about! I think you completely rock !!
PS I want that place’s housekeepers and chef!