Today I have the pleasure of meeting my youngest sons probation officer. He has been picked up twice for drinking, I have already spent two days crying about how I have gone wrong and now I have accepted that he is on his own path. As you can imagine a teen that is having trouble with the law, is also not doing well in school. Last week, we met with his counselor to plan his last two years of high school and what units he will need to graduate from high school. My husband and I were more engaged in the meeting than he was.
I felt bad for him, he seemed so lost, without any focus or goals for his future and no idea what he wanted. I can make suggestions and have consequences but until something changes for him they really don’t matter. Nothing seemed to float his boat about school, no electives or academic classes. I can alway have hope, without hope their is not much left.
One example of hope at work, he recently has taken up reading books (novels), this is very new for him. He always remarked how he could not read a novel, but lately he has found books he wants to read. I would always suggest books and buy them for him, but not a page would be turned. I even gave him audio books thinking that may help. Now I try to support the positive growth, but as you can imagine with teens I am learning to stay on my side of the fence.
Here is a story about a troubled teen that is graduating with honors from UC Berkeley. These stories give me hope.
UC Berekley Grad goes from troubled teen to budding doctor
If you read the article, throughout his trouble teen years his family did not give up on him, whether is was his parents or extended. It is the unconditional love we show that “hopefully” will carry them through.
No related posts.
Posts
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Yes it does. Love, care and understanding is what they need from their parents. I also find some wilderness programs that seems to help them.
Again our paths seem to be running parallel. While my daughter has had her share of troubles she has only just started to get “caught.” We meet her probation officer for the first time Friday. She seems to favor perscription pills and smoking cigarettes. She also has the same attitude about school, I care more than she does and it is not working. She is only going to pass 3 (I hope) classes. I am really struggling with the fact that she is failing math. She hasn’t turned in an assignment all trimester but has aced the tests and actually scored the highest in her class on the end of level testing…what does that tell us? My husband can’t understand why she can’t just do the bare minimum to just pass he thinks she is failing on purpose…unfortunately he really doesn’t understand the nature of mental illness. There are days when I want to blame her depression and days when I want to shake her and tell her to get over it. Nobody in their “right mind” would want to fail right? Well sorry for ranting…thanks for writing these, it really does help to have others understand. Good luck, and if you have any advice after meeting the probation officer it would be greatly appreciated!
You have that exactly right. Love them and support them when they try to do right and always have that hope.