It appears my son will graduate from high school or finish all his credits by the middle of next month. I am not celebrating yet, because we all know with troubled teens anything can happen in the wink of an eye. Right now he is on the path of having all his units completed. How did this happen?
It was four years ago, when he was a freshmen my husband and I were at the traditional high school begging his teachers to give him a D- rather than an “F” so that he would at least get the credits for his classes. We were running around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to save our teen. As usual parents really cannot save their teens from destruction if they don’t want to be saved. But at that time I thought it was my job as a parent. His second semester of his freshman year he was such a mess that he missed the entire school semester. That is when we enrolled him in Wilderness and then an RTC. At that time I thought it was over for him, he would never get caught up and receive a High School diploma. Three years later, I have learned they can graduate and it is not always by the “traditional” methods. Life has many forks in the road.
I am thrilled that he will meet this milestone in his life, but what’s next? It would almost be easier if he still had another two years of high school, but chronologically he is a senior and is actually finishing school a semester early since his “traditional” graduation date would be June 2010. Yesterday he registered for community college. I think he is thrilled that he can say he is going to college. He picked his classes and right now is talking about wanting to be a teacher.
There is no reason he cannot do college, but it will be interesting to see how this works for him. He is severely ADHD and does not want to take meds, even though he is known to abuse every other kind of drug. Will he be able to sit in a classroom, take notes and be responsible for the homework on his own? If he can do that, it will be a huge accomplishment. He went through the catalog, picked three classes, and registered for Early Childhood Education, Photography and History of Religion.
He will be 18 in eight weeks. I think his goal is to get out of the house and away from his restrictive parents so that he can live his life the way he wants to. This will be up to him, at 18 we cannot stop him, our next step is to have a conversation with him about the rules that apply in our house when he turns 18. For me the rules will not be much different than they are now. Rules are really based on respect. For example just because he is old enough to purchase cigarettes does not mean he can smoke in our house, but I cannot stop him from smoking.
The years from 18 – 25 can be the most dangerous for our kids. Life is never boring and it seems to always be changing. We seem to take a few steps forward and a few steps back but we all have come a long way. I am grateful for the gifts we have been given and that we have come this far but it is still challenging on many levels.
Postscript: Just to let you now I am not done yet! I still have a Sophomore son that struggles with the meaning of an education.
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I am so happy for him – that is quite an accomplishment. My daughter lost a semester of school, too, due to her depression. For him finishing a semester early is tremendous and gives me hope. I share your concern about him reaching 18. My daughter is 16 and I hope she has all of the tools she needs to know when to get help on her own when she comes of age. Actually, that is my biggest worry in life for her.
I am excited for him, but I have learned through past experiences not to personally get too invested. Once he finishes High School I will celebrate and then take the next step. The world is his oyster. We have come along way.
Congratulations! I’m sure things will continue to go well. Undoubtedly, there will be challenges–but he certainly seems to be on the right track!
That is very exciting news. Congratulations to him and you too – your hard work and dedication to finding him help is what made this all possible too.