I never thought I would be on such a different planet as my kids, I had always imagined that when they grew older and able to *think logically* we would have these wonderful conversations about different subjects. Sometimes we do have good conversations, but the majority of the time I don’t know where they get their logic.
Example, my youngest son is taking Spanish in school, it is his worst subject and he cannot understand why he would have to take a foreign language when he lives in America. He will never need to understand a foreign culture or does he have the desire too. As a parent, I fell into the trap and tried to explain it to him, there was nothing I could say that would make him see it differently. In fact he only became more adamant about his points.
I fell into the trap, I should have just let him talk, instead of trying to change his mind, I should have asked him questions such as why he felt a certain way, you know all the good stuff you read in the parenting books and think that you know how to do. When will I learn that it is impossible to change their mind and have a logical conversation? I am realizing it is their inability to see the big picture, which is either blurry or just dark.
This is my pledge:
Next time we are discussing a controversial or heated subject I will not philosophize my expectations, I will listen, ask questions and detach.
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Great story – it is really challenging to just listen without jumping in with advice or analysis. I like your pledge!
Maybe you should have that embroidered on a pillow for the couch. I bet you could sell many of them to other frustrated parents of teens
BTDT got the pillow.