Visiting My Son In Treatment
Just when you thought the visits to treatment centers in Utah are over, I am back again, visiting my son in beautiful Provo, Utah. I had business in Utah so I thought I would sneak in a weekend with my son. Provo really is not that bad. Also coincidentally I was reading “beautiful boy” by David Sheff. I have to admit when the book came out, about a year ago, I had no desire to read it and “I thought I knew it all”. I guess I wasn’t really ready for it then and still might know it all but I am so impressed with this book and how well David expresses the anxiety and feelings of a family dealing with a child with addictions. This truly could be my story and obviously many others. As David tells his story he includes vasts amounts research into drug addictions, the causes and what they do to the mind and body. If you have not read the book I highly recommend it, especially for families with teens. Your family may not be afflicted with this disease but there is a good chance someone close to you whether young or old may be.
Since I was reading the book while on the visit with my son, I felt a bit more tolerant while I was with him. Also able to listen to his hopes and dreams rather than dictate my ideas. I will have to say that between reading about treatment and living it at the moment was a bit all consuming! But also at times comforting. I am learning and trying to accept my son’s addictions and what I can and cannot control. Now that he is 17 this is becoming more prevalent as the magic age of 18 is on the horizon. He has big ideas when he turns 18 and they seem to change everyday. 18 may have more meaning for him than most teens since he knows that we can no longer force him into treatment. Also since the runaway incident, I think he feels that he can make it on his own without us.
Luckily, my son has been fortunate to receive treatment at a young age and has developed with a drug free mind, not of his volition that’s for sure. My hope is that his brain has not been damaged during these developmental years and as he continues to mature he will have better tools to make smart decisions.
I have wonderful memories of a great visit and as always, it is difficult when I have to leave him and return home. It puts a huge whole back in my heart every time. While I was there we spent one day in Park City at a snowboard competition and on Sunday, since everything is closed in Utah, he went to the skate park (I read in the car) and then a movie. We bought an electric guitar that he took back to the school, my goal this weekend was to give him time to be a teen and do teen stuff, even if he is with his mom. He was not obnoxious and while driving he did not try to dominate the radio with obnoxious music. Overall I think he is growing up, maybe I am too.
A past blog post about beautiful boy by david sheff
David Sheff’s son Nic Sheff has also written a book, which I have not read, about his experience with Meth. Addiction, Tweak Growing Up On Methamphetamines. This one may be more difficult for me, I have heard it is good.
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To those that are regular readers and regularly comment on my blog you may want to check out toomanyhats blog. She also has a house full of teens, but writes about very different experiences. Thanks toomanyhats!
I am so glad your trip went well.