When A Teen Is In Residential Treatment Holiday Traditions May Change
Every Thanksgiving now marks a milestone. Thanksgiving seems to be the time of year when there have been major shifts in the tide at our home. It was Thanksgiving two years ago, unbeknownst to me my son was spiraling downward and I was launched into a world I never wanted to be a part of. At the time how could I have been so blind? I won’t go into all the details, you can read my past blog posts, but this weekend, Thanksgiving 2008, we have turned a healthy corner, and this weekend we are together as a family. It was this exact weekend last year that TroubleTeenBlog.com was born, I just read my first post on Nov. 22, 2007 and was surprised at how much I had forgotten. The pain and the agony that I thought would never end. Through this pain and agony this blog has blossomed in the last 12 months and I have something to show for this time.
On our refrigerator is a family picture of Thanksgiving 2006. The picture is a true snapshot of how life can appear so different on the outside, covering up all that was hidden and the unknown turmoil that was to follow. It is not often that we get a picture of all of us together, but it is what happened after that picture was taken that changed the face of our family. That picture is a reminder of how far we have come.
Fast forward to Thanksgiving 2007, my son is in his second residential treatment facility after wilderness, fighting it all the way and determined that he will get the best of them. I guess we were all still in denial over how much help he really needed. Wanting to be a normal family we decided if everyone could not be at home for Thanksgiving we would make it happen by going to them. Reality gave us a huge jolt, our next lesson, the day before we planned to leave town we were told our son would not be spending Thanksgiving with us, he had lost his privileges and could not have visitors. Who do they think they are? I had heard about this happening to other families but it was not going to happen to us, but RTC’s don’t make exceptions for the holidays. If they are not following the rules, then it is just another day and then suffer the consequences holiday or not. This time we all suffered and I learned as much as it hurt, this is the true beauty of the work done at an RTC. Personally I was devastated, confused and feeling guilty, but in the long run it did pay off. Sometimes you have to let go to get back.
Last year the day before Thanksgiving, with nothing to do, no family to see, not feeling festive, guilty about the sibling that is at home, not in the mood to call another family and see if they would take us in. Even though our son had been gone for over 6 months, it was not until our family tradition was broken that the true meaning of his treatment hit. We had no control and had to wait for him to turn his life around. I think spending Thanksgiving away from his family made him realize how his behaviors affected not only his life but those that loved him.
It was last Thanksgiving I started TroubledTeenBlog, unknowing what the outcome would be, only to wake up one year later and be a part of this wonderful supportive community that I never thought existed. At a time when I felt so alone, but in turn have found so much love and now realize my time on this blog has given me the understanding during a time of need to be stronger for my son and family. I want to thank all of you that have contributed and made my time worthwhile. The many people I have met if not personally but throughout the blogosphere. The ten years I have been involved with the internet it never seizes to amaze me at the opportunities that abound. Thank you blogosphere for being there and I look forward to growing together this next year.
Happy Birthday TroubledTeenBlog – I am excited about our next year together.
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Oh, sweetie, I am so profoundly thankful that things have turned for the better and that you have your family together for this holiday weekend! I have no idea how hard it has been on you to go through all of this but I wanted to tell you how REMARKABLE I find it that you share it all so honestly so that others can benefit from your experience!