Recently we moved our son to a step down residential treatment program near our home. Before deciding where he would go I toured a few level 12 facilities, one that is very popular for many teens is Family Life Center. From what I have heard many of the teens from Island View in Utah transfer here.
Family Life Center is located in a rural section of Petaluma, CA in Sonoma County. The grounds are meticulously maintained and I was very impressed. The school separates the boys and girls and there is very little interaction between the two sexes. I have heard the education is a bit soft but this is true of most residential treatment programs where the education is secondary compared to the all so important treatment.
I have heard great things from families that have attended, but it did not feel like a true step down program, even though it is not a lockdown facility and a level 12. The program appeared to be as structured and they had high expectations on how the boys should look and behave. Individuality did not appear to be one of the characteristics they were developing, it felt like everyone needed to fit a specific mold. Some of the programs philosophy reminded me of the Wilderness experience.
After the teens reach a certain level there is a program where they can move into a satellite house with six kids living with house parents. At this stage they do a lot of off campus activities such as going to the farmers market, out for pizza, shopping at a thrift store, even an occasional movie.
It was not my choice for my son, I think it would have been too confining and not as accepting of his creative individuality. I was looking for more of a “real” step down program that would test my sons ability to begin to integrate back into the community. It did not appear to be enough of a change from the facility that he was currently attending. For some families it may be the right place for their teen and I understand they have an excellent therapeutic model.
As you look at the pictures below, notice how clean and neat everything is, also I think they have a gourmet chef that cooks with all natural ingredients. I was very impressed with the house cleaning (I wished mine looked as good) there literally was nothing out of place from the kitchen counters to the boys PE clothes that were folded perfectly on their beds. I did not tour the girls area.
One thing I do recognize from my experience every facility is very different. Even though they may work with the same level systems and do the same type of therapy they each have their own character. If possible try to visit the facility before making a placement.
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I resided at Family Life Center from December 2010 until January of 2012. To put it nicely I am now in another treatment due to the fact that I was so sheleltered that I didn’t experience “real life”. I left without actually completing that program because the Program Director Matt humiliated me in front of a room full on 30 people Revealing some serious things about me that I didn’t want others to know about. In fact it was things that I hadn’t even talked to my threapist about. I left in January and ended up in Juvie. Due to me trying to readjust.. Now I’m at Sierra Youth Center. And I’m 17. If you are considering sending your children to this place think twice. The staff were constantly leaving and you were constantly humilated. In ways yes it was helpful but overall this place is for people with EXTREME mental incapabilities.
Dear Fellow People,
For those who say FLC sucks it realy does not. I went there and just graduated about a month ago, and I was there for about 2 and a half years. Those two and a half were the hardest time of my life and they were also the best! Before coming here I was somewhere else. The place I was at was the worst possible place because they did not take care of the kids there like they do at FLC. The place I was at, there fights and a lot of drama, don’t get me wrong, I was part of it. I was at the program for about 4 months and those 4 months were the darkest, and when I say darkest I really mean it, part of my life. I did not want anything to do with my family and I hated life. But once someone came to interview me for FLC, I realized it was time to get my life together. I got excepted into the program. At first I didn’t want to be there but as time went, I started changing my life. People there really care, they aren’t just there for the pay, they are there because they care. The staff, therapist, and directors saved my family and I from breaking apart. Family Life Center was the best thing that happened for me and my family! If you are in need for help please, take FLC as an option because there is hope. Take it from me, I never thought I would make it far in life, I didn’t even think that I would make it through high school. Now I have graduated high school! If you have any questions or need someone to talk to please feel free and email me. Life is definitely something to live, and you only live once. FLC is not for everybody but it did work for my family and I!
I would call Family Life in Petaluma. They will help you.
hi, My husband and I are trying to find out what we need to do to see our grandson(jacob) who was recently placed there. Also if we can write him. His birthday is coming up and we would like to either come visit or send him a card. please can you send information on what we need to do. thank you sheryl dean
I went to this treatment center in 1991 and it was absolutly torturous. I was there for about 9 months, and ran away every week. All the “staff”, wanted tko do was yell and scream at you and tell you what you have done wrong up to that point. It did nothing for me, when my parents pulled me out of there I had given up on all treatment for my depression and was so clammed up I wouldn’t even tell my parents what was wrong. I would not recomend this treatment center for ANYONE who has depression. I went through 5 more years of inpatient treatment before I became an adult, and still to this day that place scares me…. I will never put my kids there.That is for sure.
In a nut shell. FLC was a Great Challenging Life Learning Experience for me and I still use some of the tools that I learned from there. I am a Father now of 3 children of my own and sometimes I really think that how wonderful it would be to bring Circle or do some pillow work to all Middle / High Schools . I feel that the younger kids get in touch and learn about there feelings the better. THANK YOU F. L. C. >>> Kuck Lane
Okay the negative was the slaughter house next door.
I was sent to flc from 1996 to 2001. I had a horrible experience. All the most of the rules confused me, and made no sense, and did not prepare me for the harsh reality of life. I was very sheltered to things, and when I graduated in 2001, I was moved out on my own, and tried drugs for the first time at 18, because flc didn’t teach me life lessons, only how to curb my anger problem. Many staff members that I grew close to ended up leaving, making it hard to trust people later in life. My experience with flc made me rebel, and I’ve made some bad choices since then. Left with bad, negative memories ten years later. By the way, I knew Austin at kiva, he’s a good guy. I spent five long years of my teenage years there, and might be the only student to live on the main kiva campus, was moved to skillman satalite house, then to bodega campus to be transitioned to a Foster family before finally graduate in 2001. Now I love my freedom, never getting locked up again!
In the midst of deciding whether or not to send our son to F L C. Some of the negative write-ups sound more horrifying than the positive one’s sound good. Feeling conflicted right now ’cause I don’t want to make a big mistake. I need to know what it’s really like, some assurance he’ll be in good hands.
Family Life Center saved my life. I was a student at the co-ed facility known as Bodega (apparently this facility is now an all girls residence)…the all boys facility farther west is Kiva, and I have no ability to comment on it. I graduated after 3 years there in the early 1990s. Of course, their program is not for everyone, but for some it is the best medicine.
Most of the youth who attend FLC are out of control. They come from mentally, physically, and sexually abusive and drug addicted homes. It’s rigid structures are designed to create stable and consistent environment for its students to be able to feel safe.
Daily maintenance of both inside and outside spaces is a way for students to develop a sense of responsibility. To care about the order of their environment, and to be able to have a clear effect on that order. The ability to create that order externally, is therapeutic to the individual, and reflects on their ability to establish an internal order, or to identify that there is internal chaos that needs to be addressed. Additionally, cleaning up after yourself, and maintaining your home are life skills that all teenagers should have.
The program at FLC might have changed in the 20 (*dear god) years since I was there, but it saved me from myself. One thing I think it could have done better…to prepare me to deal with the harsh world I was thrust into upon leaving its safe space.
The work ethic that is taught here was a training ground for my future.
All the cleaning and yard work are good for you.
Now that I’m well off financially, I can thank FLC for instilling in me an ability to reach my own potential-not that money is everything-but it is if you don’t have any! Its not for everyone-I can see both sides. The pics show a much improved grounds from when I was there in the late 70′s and
there were 4 students. I am proud to be the first graduate. I definitely dont miss the powdered milk-the dry lumps sucked!
I went to FLC and graduated in 2000. The program was very hard, but it was the most rewarding thing I’ve ever experienced. You have to want and be open to change for FLC to work it’s magic. Individuality in the ‘outward appearance’ sense is discouraged because it distracts from the important interpersonal and interpersonal work being done there. But I agree with Miriam’s post: you cannot determine who you really are when you are enslaved to negative behavioral patterns.
FLC taught me how to be a genuine, authentic human being. They taught me listening, communication, and resolution skills that have helped me develop deep, healthy relationships in my life. I could go on and on about how much of a positive impact FLC had on me.
But it’s not for everyone. I keep in touch with a few of the other people I attended FLC with. They’re opinions about FLC vary. I suppose, like most thing in life, you get out what you put into it.
Feel free to email me if you have any questions. I’d be happy to answer.
It sucked!!
I went to FLC as well, but I have a different opinion of it than some of the other people who responded to this post. I hope to make a fair portrayal of FLC’s intentions and program in general. I am absolutely willing to be contacted via e-mail or phone to discuss anything further.
I wanted to begin by saying that I saw above that the original poster did not go into depth about what her son’s issues or capabilities were, and therefore do not want to give any definitive advice, such as “absolutely do not send your child there!”
It is true that quite a few programs are not administered well or have different focuses that may not be appropriate matches for your child; however, I feel that FLC’s values, skills, and the experiences they provide students with is excellent and can benefit the majority of people who attend the place if they are OPEN to change. Of course, the program has its faults, as does most everything . . . and I will explain my views on those in portions below.
FLC provides an extreme amount of structure, which for someone with huge anxiety issues can be very stabilizing/reassuring. It also can be a stepping-stone for some who are out of control and have no clear understanding of how crucial in life it is to be able to take instruction and criticism.
Yes, it’s true that students are required to do the vast majority of maintenance . . . and of course it can be frustrating, but I think the purpose behind it is to teach pride, a good work ethic, consistency.
The rules at FLC are in huge quanity. Perhaps some are not necessary(?), but I feel that the reasons behind the rules are for the protection of all students. Some rules are more applicable to students with specific issues and probably appear ridiculous to others. There are some rules that contradict, but the most important rules established do not.
There were rules regarding advancement in the program which I did not agree with completely. FLC is a relationship-based program and there was a requirement to have student support to move up a phase. It’s is a lot more complex than that, and at times created a lot of controversy amongst students. Despite that, the main concern for students is to focus on self-improvement.
FLC’s curriculum did not seem to challenge most students, but at a treatment program education is not a top priority (hence the title “treatment.”) I too, loved the teachers and their wonderful personalities.
I feel that yes, personality/individuality/etc at FLC was oppressed to an extent, but it is my strong belief that you cannot determine who you truly are as an individual if you are stuck in negative patterns. It’s like the situation: you cannot save money if you are in debt. FLC helps get people on the right track. I participated in many creative endeavors at FLC and learned to help myself in many areas including therapy.
FLC therapy is intense, but support is given from all directions. Though there is pressure to participate, and students are often required to in order to move forward, you have options of how to approach your issues. Almost all students are reluctant or scared about doing group therapy, but once an openness to change and acceptance of reality sinks in, it is really worthwhile.
Family therapy at FLC is very effective, but only if family members are supportive and genuinely have interest in making a difference.
Personally, the program was incredibly overwhelming for me at times. I almost left when I turned eighteen, and I am grateful I did not. I had no ambition and was headed down a dangerous path prior to FLC. I graduated the program and high school in a year and a month (not too common, but doable.) I learned and matured a lot and am currently living successfully, doing things I never would have planned on achieving.
FLC is definitely not a place for everyone, but what it really comes down to is the receptivity and tolerance of a particular person. Perhaps your child will hate the place and resent you for sending them there, but that does not by any means suggest that FLC has nothing to offer.
Thank you for reading and I hope that this information and my opinions were of some help.
I agree with everything that author J and Lindsey have said. I just wanted the lady who posted this thing to contact me.. after all, this is her son’s life we are talking about. Please STAY far far AWAY FROM THIS PLACE at all costs and don’t make the same mistake my mother did in sending me there!
-Ashley Nadar
AKA: Athena Myers
I went to FLC and I can tell you it’s not what it seems.
- The “meticulously maintained” campus is kept that way because they make the students do all the work. There is a landscaper, but most of what he does is tell the students what to do. There are NO housekeepers, we had to clean every single day on the residence (both indoor and outdoor) and two or three times a week in the satellite homes. For satellite, deep indoor cleaning is on Saturday, outdoor maintenance on Sunday in addition to outdoor Mon-Fri.
- There is zero interaction between the boys and girls. I remember an incident where the other satellite house went to Target and accidentally bumped into a student from the other campus. One student mentioned this person later and got in trouble for it. They didn’t teach us how to interact with the opposite sex appropriately. Sex ed is limited to small groups of whoever is getting ready to graduate, and half the students don’t get to be in that class. Half the students also ended up pregnant shortly after leaving the program.
- I loved the teachers, but I left FLC without being prepared for college at all. Apparently they were not allowed to give us more challenging curriculum.
- Individuality and being opinionated is looked down upon and even chastised.
- Used to have a 5 star chef, now they employs someone who just enjoys cooking. Different chefs for each campus. “Line staff” fills in when the chef is not available. To be honest, the quality of food did not change, just the quantity of what we had to eat.
- I was placed at FLC for depression and a suicide attempt. I didn’t go there until 5 months after my suicide attempt, so it was pointless. FLC is not a good place for someone with these issues. If anything, it gave me more of a reason to be depressed, and I’m STILL recovering from that 4 years later. They didn’t teach me anything I couldn’t have taught myself over time and becoming more mature.
- Looks are deceiving. This place is not a cake walk. It’s very difficult to be there. As previously stated, the suppress individuality. They also use brainwash tactics. Their rules and views can be very contradicting, and at times it seemed they would just build us up to bring us down. They played favorites as well.
- They refuse to help students when they become homeless post-graduation.
Thank you for acknowledging that this program is not appropriate for your son. Keep in mind that just because some programs aren’t on lockdown, does not mean that they are a good program. Real success stories are few and far between.
I was at Family Life Center from 2003-2006. And no, individuality does not seem to be the number-one priority of the program. I actually felt the need to /recover/ from time spent there. I felt sheltered and smothered. I don’t think it’s exactly a “step-down” sort of program..
I went here as well. And would also be more than happy to answer any questions you may have. I graduated in 2004, but have kept in contact with of few of the girls and my house parents.
Hey, I went there and if you need to talk to someone with some personal experience feel free to email me… =)
Fill out the form on the About page or send me an email at kidsrtc@gmail.com.
would love to talk to you about this place!
I think it’s marvelous that you have such a clear picture of what you want for your son and what he needs and that you aren’t willing to settle for what might be a great program but not the right one for him. Personally, I would be leery of a teenager’s home (whether with parents, institution, etc) that is too clean. It isn’t natural and it speaks of too much rigidity and control. Let’s face it, teenagers are messy. They don’t have to be slobs or filthy but they are messy. It’s a part of what those years are all about! I think you completely rock !!
PS I want that place’s housekeepers and chef!