Milestones are being met in our son’s residential treatment care, long milestones, if I may add. The one year marker at his current facility is next week and I feel a vast difference in my son’s engagement in the program and in his life. He knows that we are talking about transition the end of this year and he appears to be taking it seriously. He knows to transition he needs to complete some work and stay on track. Today we had our 6 month IEP meeting and it was pain free. I am still floating, compared to our first IEP meeting the Spring of 2007, I had to leave the room as the walls started to come down on me realizing they were talking about my son, it was too emotional listening to what was not happening and the level of care he needed compounded with all the guilt and sadness that I felt at that time. Would I ever have my son back?
At today’s meeting we learned where my son stands is academically, in Utah the class credits are tallied differently, plus they go to school year around. But we were relieved to find out that if he stays on track he can actually GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL on time, another milestone that did not appear possible in the past. It is amazing how they get the kids through the classes, the education I would add is not the best but right now that is not the main focus. There is always time to get caught up.
Residential Treatment Parent Conference
It’s been along road and I know we have miles in front of us, but the relief is overwhelming. Next week we leave for Salt Lake City, Utah for the parent conference meeting. These meetings are twice a year and this will hopefully be our last one at the facility. To think I will be one of those parents I envied in the past with a kid that will soon graduate from the program. Parent conference at a residential treatment program is different from your mainstream parent conference, it lasts 2 ½ days. It starts on a Thursday night for “parent networking”, last time we went around the room and everyone introduced themselves and then told one story about what brought their teen to an RTC. Some stories were very emotional and you could feel the families pain which brought a tear to everyone’s eye, others you could feel the relief in the parents that they had finally found help, and many stories that you could easily relate to and knew that you were not alone. I think everyone felt comfort in knowing there were other families dealing with similar issues. It was a nice way to kick off the next two days. Friday, is therapeutic recreation with the teens and their families. We play games and learn how we all interact. The kids as you can imagine are much better at this than the parents. Next we spend some downtime with our kids at lunch on the campus. That is alwyas fun to watch all the kids interact. It is one of the only times the girls and the boys are not separated. After lunch the kids leave and the parents meet the staff, teachers and school administrators. We receive a weekly report on how our son is doing in school, so there are usually no suprises. After the teacher conferences more workshops for the parents we meet in groups with the therapists.
Amazingly enough, when a teen goes into a program like this, the parents also have to do personal work on their relationship and the family relationship with their teen in treatment. Don’t think once you send your kid away, the teen does all the work and then they hand them to you fixed. It’s not that easy everyone contributes, between the family therapy sessions and the individual therapy sessions, your relationship is under the microscope. If you don’t change, then your teen is not going to change.
After the workshops, they have campus tours for those who want them. They also have an annual play and at this conference we will see the performance for the first time. I have heard great things about the play, but of course my son chose not to be in it.
Saturday, is the last day for meetings and you really are exhausted at this point. The conference takes a lot out of you both mentally and emotionally. I don’t know why, but just the interactions with your teen, the therapists and all the different families. The weekend gives the parents a taste of what the kids are going through on a daily basis. Saturday is another full day, in the morning they usually have a special topic of parent concerns. At the Spring Conference they spoke about family time and how families spend time together. This days conference workshop is on Internet Addiction and How Media Impacts Youth. Then off to more workshops, parent support groups and we are done.
Obviously not your mainstream parent conference, maybe if they did more of this in the mainstream families would not have as many negative issues. I used to be afraid of being confronted with our family problems, but now I can hit them head on even if we don’t get it right the first time. I don’t fear my son like I did before he went into treatment and I now have better tools to help me process the information as it comes. I am not perfect, but I think I am better.
End Of The Conference Time to Reconnect
The end of the conference is what I am really looking forward to. I plan to stay a few extra days and spend time with my son. Making up for lost time, laugh together, share our thoughts, eat a meal together, listen to him tell me how old and out of date I am. Just to be in the same room together, breathe the same air, to have time to reconnect will be the greatest gift.
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