We are getting close to wrapping up the end of a wonderful holiday weekend. We were lucky and participated in many different festive events. Music concerts with friends, the fair with family and a baseball game. It really was a nice relaxing weekend. With all the distractions there was an element in the background that kept haunting me and that is my son who is in RTC. He was supposed to be home this weekend for a visit, but lost his privileges and as you have read in an earlier post has decided he does not want to talk to us. We are the source of his placement and inability to have fun.
At each of these events I would look at the other teens and wonder “Who Would My Son Be?” Today teens are not a one size fits all, they are quite diverse and colorful, sometimes the groups are mixed. So that is the question who would my son be?
The group of kids with the fluorescent hair, tight jeans, pierced lips and tattooed. Would he be pulling at his pants waistband to pull them up because they are so baggy they sag below his buns? Then there are the more athletic types wearing basketball shorts and t-shirts. Boarder dudes wearing skate shoes, polyester pants with a flannel shirt or the more intellectual type with a polo shirt and khaki pants. The emo teen sitting in the corner looking lonely and lost or the lively teen making everyone laugh?
Whichever group he would identify I know that I miss him, his energy his laugh. He could choose anyone of those groups to be a part, it would be his choice but he must be comfortable in his choices and make rational healthy choices. The sadness is knowing he is still covering up his sadness, not taking responsibility for his actions and continues to think we are the bad guys.
As I looked around while at the baseball game and see all the kids together having fun, I think of my son “just wanting to have fun”, but not knowing what is appropriate or when to stop. Not understanding that what he wants for fun is keeping him from having fun. How could this have happened? He always walked to a different drummer, but I never thought the drummer would hurt him.
Our families journey continues, I trust that one day he will learn to be safe and make good choices. When that time comes I will know who my son really is and I would never take that away from him. To all the parents with teens in treatment holidays can be some of the toughest of times, family traditions are broken. I have faith those traditions will return our families will be together, we have to be patient, stay true to ourselves and allow them to do the work. To a peaceful and happy summer!
No related posts.
Posts
