I am slowly coming to terms and understandin that Addiction is a disease. I have been in denial about a family memeber having a “real” addiction problem. I always thought they would grow out of it, but now with many months behind us in treatment I am beginning to come to terms with this addiction and my role in this process. It has become apparent that I need to understand addiction and the more I understand the better for both of us. I am now going to Al-Anon meetings, they have helped me with this process. I can talk the language of recovery and sometimes turn the process over to a higher power. I understand that 12 steps is not be for everyone, but I do believe finding some kind of support that works for you is important and will also help the addict in their recovery. It may not always turn out how you had hoped.
Here is a link to an article on Confronting someone with an addiction. She methodically details the process well and helps you (the non-addict) to express “your” feelings and how the addicts actions affect “your” life. She makes the specific point that if you are not going to follow through with what you are proposing or confronting then don’t make the requests. This is a mistake we all make especially as parents. Then the addict learns they can manipulate and get away with their behaviors. This is where a treatment center or program has the strength to help an addict. The RTC (residential treatment center) does not have the same emotional connection, they have the staff and the ablility to follow through with consequences. They are not as manipulated by the addict.
As hard as it can be we must all remember we cannot make someone stop being addicted so don’t drive yourself crazy by thinking you can. This is the addicts responsibility, addiction is a serious medical and psychological problem, addicts need professional help.
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