As I was searching through the internet I found this Problem Solving and Conflict Resolution article. When you have a troubled teen in your home there can be excessive conflict not only between parents and your teens, but also between the parents with their partners. Home life becomes very turbulent and conflict causes a lot of stress and when stressful moments arise individuals usually do not think clearly and act irrationally. I thought this would be appropriate not only for dealing with difficult times with partners but also for our struggling teens.
If you don’t get anything else from this post these five simple steps are good advice on how to avoid a fight. Personally, the last bullet has saved our family from many needless arguments, “ban problem-solving talks after about 8 p.m. Fatigue starts many fights!
Five Ways to Sidestep a Fight
These strategies can stop a fight before it starts.
- See things from your partner’s point of view.
- Count to 50 before you say anything incendiary. This pause will help you calm down just long enough to think better of it.
- Don’t throw verbal bombs. Avoid put-downs, personal attacks, judgments, criticism, and blaming — as well as sulking, interrupting, and stomping out of the room.
- Ask yourself if you can — and should — solve the problem on your own.
- Skip heavy conversations before breakfast and from 11 a.m. to 12 p.m. and 3:30 p.m. to 6 p.m. — because nobody should argue on an empty stomach.
And ban problem-solving talks after about 8 p.m. Fatigue starts many fights!
One last thought if you and your partner can master these secrets, think of what great role models we would be for our kids. I need to get to work!!
Here is the complete article 14 Secrets to Turn Conflicts into Problem Solving – Learn to free yourself from the emotional and physical side effects of nasty fighting, such as feeling you’ve intimidated or dominated your mate — or that you’ve given in and given up on what you really want. You’ll have fewer tense times together, and actually improve your health…. digg story
As always we would love to hear your comments on conflict and problem solving resolutions in your family.
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Great advice, it is nice to hear from teens.
ShannonI am 16 and recognize that communication between teenagers and parents can be challenging and sometimes frustrating. One suggestion is to use table topics and broad yet intriguing questions (example: If you could have one occupation in the world, what would it be and why?) to spark a conversation. The blog I write for (OnTeensToday.com where parents get advice from a teen’s perspective) also has an article about improving communication between teens and their parents called 20 Teen and Tween Conversation Starters. It might add a fresh point of view to the mix. Please feel free to check it out:www.onteenstoday.com/2008/06/02/table-topics/ Thank you!Shannon