When a parent has a troubled teen, like so many I talk to today, they tend to go underground and then resurface,  I know I do. I think I am in one of my resurfacing moments and it feels good!

I wanted to share with you an article in the Wall Street Journal “Want My Advice? Um, Not Really”, it talks about conversations between parents (Boomers) and Generation Y – now ages 16-32. That is the age range of my family, the youngest is 16, then 18 and the oldest is turning 25 next week.

Communication can be a struggle and my mantra of  late has been “listen, keep your mouth shut” I know in my heart they really don’t want “to hear” my advice. Read the article, I was enlightened and think you may be too. Hopefully it will help to better understand where “they” are coming from and why “we” are so out dated; as the article claims “even more than the generations that came before us”.

The article in the paper (not the on-line version) had 6 tips “from young adults for their advice-giving elders”:

• Question Your Assumptions: What worked in your youth might have little relevance today
• Offer suggestions, not pronouncements: Say ‘you could’ not ‘you should’.
• Welcome a dialogue: Listen, don’t lecture; you’ll learn things and give better advice.
• Resist saying: ‘When I was young…’
• Don’t be little technology: If you are critical of social media, young people may dismiss you as a dinosaur.
• Accept your limitations: The young understand the world today. Sometimes the best advice is: ‘Trust your instincts.’

For myself as a grown adult, with my father whom is 89 years old and I in my mid-fifties,  feel he does not understands what it is like parenting teenagers today and I think “he is out of touch”. That is pretty sad, now if my mother were alive I think it would be different. But with my father, I have a tough time being honest about what is really going on. Looking back that may have always been true even as I was growing up.  In contrast and how my kids may feel about me, personally I don’t feel  I am that out of touch, but who knows.

What is it like for you? How do you handle these generational issues, not only with the teens but also grandparents and great-grandparents? I hope to hear from you, we have not dialoged in a while and I miss all my blog contacts, which I know is my fault. So I invite you to  comment on how things are going for your family, especially now that school is back in session. I should be sharing more soon.

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